Day 2 – Short Circuit (Part 1)

Readers, I would like to take a brief note to thank you for your patience. You have stuck with me through over 60 incredibly verbose blog posts, missed deadlines, and sometimes me dropping off the face of the blogging earth for months at a time–yet hear you are, your beautiful eyes gracing my eager journalism. You bless me big. Thank you.

Read Day 1 here. Want to know what Power Surge is? Click here!

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After sleeping horribly with terrible dreams, I woke up bright and early at 6 and slunk into the kitchen to prepare a pot of coffee (Emily’s family always has the best coffee) and read my Bible before the morning got busy.

Before long, Mark lumbered into the kitchen as well and started moving around to get his breakfast and lunch ready. We talked about how good God is (an endless topic, to be sure). I got the chance to sozo/shabar Mark a bit, and it was absolutely cool because when he pictured a little boy, he saw a porcelain doll of a little Dutch boy. Holy Spirit saw that I was puzzled at this unusual description, so He whispered to me, “It’s like Pinocchio.”

We asked father God what the little boy needed, and His response was, “He needs to be brought to life…like Pinocchio.”

Talk about confirmation! It was so awesome! I got a little bit further in my Sozo tools, but then Mark left for work and I read some Bible.

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Emily and I went to the church a little bit later to drop off sleeping bags and meet the new interim pastor, Stephen. His 18-year-old daughter, Eryca, was there also. Instantly, I fell in love with both of them. They are as loud as I am, always smiling, and can’t seem to go two minutes without talking about how amazing God is.

Emily and I met with Eryca for about an hour where we shared testimonies. I was impressed and inspired by Eryca’s story and how her parents raised her into her identity. She shines so freely! I shared our testimony of God’s faithfulness coming through for our wedding in September, and it was a golden-apple-timely-word of confirmation for Eryca and her family, that I had no idea they even needed! We had a wonderful time, I got to sing over her, and Holy Spirit was ridiculously heavy on all three of us.

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Best. Game. Ever.

After scrambling to get the rest of everything we needed for the retreat, it was go time. 5 o’ clock rolled around and kids started showing up, one by one. I was anxiously waiting for Levi to get off work and drive down to Vancouver, but in the meantime I ate dinner and played games with the kids, getting a chance to get acquainted with them.

I fell fast in love with all of them, particularly Sammy.
Sammy is thirteen years old. He is one of the most optimistic people I have ever met in my life. He’s affectionate, loves games, and absolutely LOVES praying when it’s time to bless a meal.

But if you saw a picture of him, that probably wouldn’t be the first conclusion you’d jump to. Sammy was diagnosed six months ago with bone cancer when a sports physical to clear him for football season revealed a tumor in his knee. Sammy has gone through 40 weeks of chemotherapy, and now that his hair is gone, he prides himself on bearing a close resemblance to Voldemort.

When we were getting in line for dinner, I was just behind him when he asked loudly, “Who wants to pray for me?”

Very seriously, I looked him in the eye and said, “I would love to pray for you. What would you like prayer for?”

Sammy gave me a hard look and said, “What do you think? I’ve got cancer.”

“I know,” I replied, still being absolutely dead serious. “But I don’t want to think of you as just Sammy with cancer. I want to think of you as my friend Sammy, who has cancer for the time being but probably has a lot of other things he’d like prayer for as well.” I told him that I didn’t want to have our relationship revolve around the temporary fact of his disease. I think that really impacted him, because afterward he didn’t say any more, but sat with me at dinner.

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I left early to prepare songs for worship, and Levi showed up just when I was getting super anxious about when he was going to get there. Sweet relief! The youth group filed in for worship and Levi and I began the first song, with me leading on guitar and Levi singing backup while doing some sweet rhythms on a bongo. We were seated on the steps of the stage, at eye level with the group, who sat in a semicircle of chairs around the stage.

The music was great, I was singing my heart out…

Then I stopped. And started talking to the group. My heart was pounding and my mind was screaming WHAT ARE YOU DOING??? because I was going against every performance inclination I’d rehearsed; but I needed to make something very clear.

“Is this what you need?” I asked, taking the time to look each and every one of them in the eye. “Because if this isn’t what you need, we can do something else. We are here for you. It’s not the other way around. And we don’t want to come up here in front of you and go through the motions for the three days that we have together with you, then go home feeling good about ourselves while leaving you with absolutely nothing.”

It was silent in the sanctuary as they realized I was serious, then one or two of them spoke up and said, “This is what we need.”

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So we continued. And we worshiped our little hearts out. I stopped again after the second song to share a word that Holy Spirit put on my heart about a sacrifice of praise in even the worst circumstances and situations, and then Levi and I taught them “One Thing Remains” by Jesus Culture. It felt like we sang it forever, yet it felt like we didn’t sing long enough.

We moved into the youth room to transition into “lesson time.” I had no idea what to give a “lesson” on, and I wasn’t feeling any promptings from Holy Spirit, so I just started to tell my testimony. Little did I realize, the majority of my audience were 13-to-15-year-olds with attention spans that short-circuited very easily. Not even fifteen minutes into my story, I was losing them.

If you want to find out what happened next, follow and subscribe to the blog, and don’t forget to Like the Facebook page!  See ya next post!

Power Surge 2012 – An Introduction

Last weekend, Levi and I had the privilege of going down to Vancouver to speak at a youth retreat for a Free Evangelical Church.

It was ridiculously awesome.

Just to give you some background, the church has recently gone through an enormous upheaval in leadership. They are dusting off the debris of destructive doctrine and stepping into a new season of romance with God. They have a new interim pastor and his family who moved recently from Michigan, and with them they brought a double dose of Holy Spirit! (Can you tell I’m excited?)

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Levi and I went down with explicit instructions from Holy Spirit—we were not to prepare a message. Our charge was simply to prepare ourselves. Easy enough, right? Take into mind what E.M. Bounds says about this in his book, “Power Through Prayer:”

The character  as well as the fortunes of the gospel is committed to  the preacher.  He makes or mars the message from God to man. The preacher is the  golden pipe through which the divine oil flows. The pipe must  not only be  golden, but open and flawless, that the oil may have  a full, unhindered,  unwasted flow.

The man makes the preacher.  God must make the man. The  messenger is, if possible, more than  the message. The preacher is more than the  sermon. The preacher  makes the sermon. As the life-giving milk from the mother’s  bosom  is but the mother’s life, so all the preacher says is tinctured,  impregnated by what the preacher is. The treasure is in earthen  vessels, and the  taste of the vessel impregnates and may discolor.  The man, the whole man, lies  behind the sermon. Preaching is not  the performance of an hour. It is the  outflow of a life. It takes  twenty years to make a sermon, because it takes  twenty years to  make the man. The true sermon is a thing of life. The sermon  grows  because the man grows. The sermon is forceful because the man is  forceful. 

The sermon is holy because the man is holy. The sermon  is full of the divine  unction because the man is full of the divine  unction.

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The first time I picked up this book, I couldn’t get past those few paragraphs. They have haunted me for about six months, following my every move. And when we were invited to go to the youth retreat and speak, the call to rise to this standard grew louder, and louder, and louder. At first, I resisted just as loudly: “NO God, I don’t want to do that. I want to write a sermon and make it simple for the kids.” Then I turned around and said, “Holy Spirit, what do you want me to talk about?” And He kept bringing me back to this. It was truly a vicious cycle. For about two months, I wouldn’t budge.

Then I relented. As soon as I gave in and lifted the entire retreat up to Him, He came in and started a deep, deep work in me.

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There were weeks where every single night, just as I was about to go to sleep, He would bring to the surface a very painful memory of bitterness or offense in my life. I would lay in bed and soak my pillow with tears while my heart cried. Some nights, Levi was awake and held me to comfort me in my sorrowful repentance as I faced things I had locked away in the closets of my memory. Other nights, it was just me and Papa God, Him holding me as I cried and cried and cried…and then would come the peace and the rest, only to repeat the process the following night with another memory.

Levi and I faced challenges in our own relationship that we needed to work out, and it took running into the arms of wise counselors to find peace in that area. God spoke to both of us about prioritizing our time, and asked us to lay down distractions that we were very reluctant to let go of at first.

But every moment of it was worth it. There was intense testing, blue-hot fires, and tremendous pressure that demanded equally tremendous sacrifice…but it was all worth it. Because every single thing He brought me through was accompanied by His tender reminder that it was all for the sake of the kids we were going to be speaking to at the retreat. He said, “They are worth enough to me to do this.”

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So my response was to fling my arms open and cry out for Him to come closer and burn me all the more. I prayed dangerous, scary prayers like, “God, I want the growth that would normally take years—and I want it now. I want all of you, no matter what it takes.” He heard and honored my prayer.

So many people sowed into the retreat with their prayer and encouragement over Levi and I, and I knew we were being specially anointed for this trip. As the days counted down, I felt the strangest mix of peace and great anticipation, excitement to see everything that God would do!

And He certainly did not disappoint. He was manifest powerfully in His love and His passion over each and every one of us! My life was changed by Him and what He’s doing in each one of the youth we got to spend the weekend with. He brought me toe-to-toe with my greatest fears and my longest-standing chicken lines several times every day, and gave me the choice to turn around and go back to where it was safe. But He also gave me the courage to face my chicken lines and run at them with everything I had—what relief! What reward! What breakthrough!

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The posts following this are an account of the glorious things God did for us that weekend. I hope you claim the promises, the breakthrough, and the spectacular power of the testimonies contained inside!